My word is poison to your ears
You’re heart is medicine for all these childhood fears
I was never there,
Until one day I was left to stare,
At an empty home that we barley shared
And still we made beauty of all these scattered prayers.
We had it all
I let us fall,
All your words,
I shot them all.
All your empty words fill my head,
Is what we we’ve always said,
I know I meant it, when I said it,
Jokes and laughs,
To wonder why,
Why I should’ve known,
How I became this monster I’d never known.
Your misery was great,
I see it now,
You’re much too young,
To look back now,
Cause I’m not worth it anymore,
By the looks on your face,
And your lack of grace,
I know I’ve lost you, cause you’re over my haste.
A quitter of love is what you are,
I meant it when I said I was happy with who you are.
Never knew you at all,
Or I’m truly a monster after all.
I never thought it ever get this far,
So I’m saying to you, please don’t go.
Please don’t go,
Ready for it all,
I thought it was time for,
“No matter what”
That’s all that’s left to recall
“Through thick and thin”
Your words are now poison to my ears.
Karma is now my biggest fear.
I’m pushing you back, but you resist,
All for fear if this.
I try pulling you back in
Just as it starts to click.
My little ways, that were selfish and harsh,
Have shown me it all,
Because you’ve made me see now,
What I’ve been trying to not see at all.
I love you, more.
It’s now the truth,
I told you before,
I’m poison to you.
Theres was never enough love for us both to win.
So please tell me why
Why you had to quit?
All the life we’ll now miss,
Just to run and quit?
You’re fear of me is all I ever did,
My fear of me,
Is now dying slowly as I love myself again.
I understand now as it just crumbles and splits.
And still we made beauty of all this braveness.
All that’s left behind is a vague memory of why,
so quick to leave so much behind.
I choose to forget the good
Cause it’s too much to miss,
Cause, I love you, more.
Please understand this.
To carry only all the worst pieces
Is what I do best,
It is my blessing,
It’s my curse,
What will make it better when I turn it into words,
Then put it back together,
But better than at first.
“Being miserable and bored. Anytime I get bored, I turn to music, collage painting and stuff. I open myself and suddenly I am surprised by a melody, word or an idea and I start from there. Rather than being depressed, I jump into music and try to understand what that feeling is.”—Jason Mraz - “Where do you get your inspiration from?” (x)